


Wanted

by HerbertBest



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - A/B/O, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blow Jobs, Clubbing, Comfort, Desperation, Destiny, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Female Alphas, Female Friendship, Female Omegas, Fingerfucking, Friendship, Gaming, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Masturbation, Matchmaking, Mating Bites, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Non-Traditional Alphas, Object Insertion, Sex Toys, Tenderness, Vaginal Fingering, Vibrators
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2018-07-11 03:01:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 17,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7024822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HerbertBest/pseuds/HerbertBest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some omegas were lucky; they found their true loves right away, just like Arin did with Suzy.  Some were like Ross and went into heat late and landed their mates through sheer force of luck.</p><p>Holly doesn't dare dream it will finally happen to her.  Which is why her best friend's husband's bandmate keeps slipping right under her radar while haunting her fantasies...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lying In An Early Bed Thinking Late Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU where Grumps really doesn't exist but NSP and Starbomb do. Rules for the a/b/o society where they all live and info on where everyone is in the AU will come out slowly through the narrative.

“Oh my God, Holly, look at that guy’s butt.”

Holly glanced up from the menu and followed Suzy’s line of vision. The guy’s butt was…well, decent-looking, but he danced like he was having back spasms, occupying the club’s floor as if he couldn’t bear anyone else taking a modicum of attention away from him. “Um…if you say so.” She watched Suzy lick her lips. It was a sign Holly knew too well. “Are you coming into heat again?”

Suzy squirmed against her seat and a wave of musk rose to greet Holly. If she’d been in heat she would’ve flung herself at the alpha; in her currently relaxed state of mind it simply made her nervous that they’d get boxed in by horny males. Who could blame them? Suzy looked and smelled amazing, as always, and Holly was surprised every omega and alpha in the place wasn’t throwing themselves at her feet.

“Maybe. Ugh, Arin’s been asleep since he knotted in me this morning and I’m getting all hot and bothered again. Maybe if we dance off some steam it’ll go away.” 

Holly didn’t want to imagine goofy Arin, Suzy’s mate and the unquestioned love of her life, knotting into anyone. She stared at the menu. “Mmm, the trout almandine sounds amazing…”

“I wouldn’t order the fish here,” Suzy said. “Stick with the chicken.” She stood up, taking her small cigarette case purse with her. “I’m going to go grind on a couple of guys while we wait for our orders to come. Get me the chicken with extra gravy, hon?”

“Sure,” Holly said. She sipped her margarita and sighed to herself as she watched the club turn into a writhing mass of limbs around her. She’d been living this way since she was sixteen, and she wondered what, if anything, would come along to change her life at this late date.

In college she’d had everything planned out. She’d graduate and marry Ross, her sweetheart since high school, and together they’d move to LA. She’d find a job working the wardrobe department at a studio and slowly leverage her way into designing; he’d start animating from home until he found someone willing to listen to his story pitches. Then in their junior year he came into his first heat, fell desperately in love with his physics professor and flipped Holly’s world upside down.

The mess had been ridiculous and never ending, but by the time they graduated she and Ross had somehow salvaged a friendship from the ashes. Ross married Professor Wecht and moved to London with him; now they had an adorable daughter and Holly was relentlessly presented with evidence of their happiness with every Facebook update. She’d reacted to the marriage by running off to New York and moving in with her old high school friend. Barry was a nice guy; a beta deeply in love with his work, so there was no pressure or lingering sexual tension between them to make things awkward during heat cycles. They lived a few blocks down from Arin and Suzy, and together the four of them worked together on Arin’s ‘super mega awesome project’ – a rap-rock band loosely called ‘Starbomb’. It was basically Arin rapping to a series of background tracks at this point, but it gave everyone something to focus on. Holly did his costumes, Suzy did his make-up and Barry managed him from gig to gig and recording session to recording session. No one had quit their day jobs - they hadn’t hit it big but Holly held hope implausibly close to her nerdy heart.

“Hello, my name is Dan, I’ll be your waiter tonight. What can I get you?” Holly’s gaze shot up from the menu and she laid eyes on their server and was struck silent by the sight of him. He was tall, long-limbed and thin-boned, with large eyes and a rounded, heart-shaped chin. He was formally dressed to match the busboy, bartenders and even the bouncers who staffed the place. She must have been staring; his pen tapped his notepad impatiently.

She cleared her throat. “Oh! Two small glasses of red, the chicken la cage with rice and mixed greens on the side. And two small salads with oil and vinegar to start, please.”

“Would you like bread and water with that?”

“Yes, please.”

His smile was kind, eyes lingering for an unusual amount of time on her face before he turned toward the kitchen. “I’ll be right back with your water.”

He’d come and gone with her salad and the entrée, tantalizing her with his presence, before Suzy swaggered up, sweaty and carefree, “Oh my god, this looks amazing,” she sighed, sitting down to her intact meal. Holly was nearly finished with her own food and sat in amazement as Suzy wolfed down her dinner with aplomb. 

“Did you have fun?”

Suzy grinned. “Ohh yeah. Some of those boys can dance; not as good as Arin, of course.”

“Does he mind it?” Holly wondered. “I mean, you and Arin have been together forever….”

Suzy laughed. “Sweetie, you worry way too much about this stuff. Arin knows I get charged up when I’m in heat and he tends to go all low-energy-coma after burning off the first day’s build up. This is how we handle it.”

She couldn’t fight logic when it was laid out bare and simple for her that way. Holly just left well enough alone and prepared to pay off her half of the check.

*** 

After staggering home to find Barry sacked out and fast asleep on their couch with her cat Orph lying across this belly, Holly gave herself a minimal shower and pitched herself into bed. The coma-like sleep should’ve been a hint as to what she’d wake up.

An aching warmth in her breast. A tingling sensation in her clit. An ache yearning to be filled deep within her. And a puddle of slick under her hips and flowing down her thighs. 

She glanced at the calendar. Yep, her heat was right on schedule. 

A cursory call to her boss at the small repertory company where she worked exhausted her patience for anything other than the orgasm she desperately needed to have; she locked her bedroom door, flung her pajamas off and reached into her bottom drawer for her favorite toys. 

She rolled the tools out onto her bed and slid a hand over her mound, brushing her clit until her thighs quivered. She picked up her weapons of choice; a thick, realistic dildo with a button that caused a knot to slowly inflate and a Hitachi massager. Just what she needed to get off.

Her swollen slit dripped joyously over her hand as she inserted the tool and squeezed the rubber bulb attached to its opposing end, inflating it slightly. She worked herself with her left hand, whipping the dick into and out of herself.

 _”Shit,”_ she whined softly, turning the speed of the Hitachi up and holding it to her clit. She was so close, so fucking close and then…

 _Knock knock knock!_ “Holly, are you okay?”

Fucking. BARRY. “GO AWAY!”

“What’s wrong?! Oh! it’s that time of the month, isn’t it?” The roar of rage she emitted quieted him. “Okay, I’ll see you in a couple of days. Food’ll be outside your door, okay hon? As always. You’ve got my cell if you need a doctor!”

“Yeah,” she panted, kneading her soaked mons, moaning orgiasticly. Even Barry’s voice could turn her on when she felt this way, to his mild disgust.

Holly didn’t start again until the door shut and she knew, at last, that she was safe. Then she turned the motor up high and shrieked her lust. The orgasm built painfully fast into something violent, a crescendo of need. She barely bit back a scream as the passion crested over her, and the last image she took with her, the one that pushed her over the edge, was the memory of a pair of kind brown eyes watching her from across the table.

**** 

Hours later she heard the message Suzy had left on her phone. Band rehearsals would be delayed until their heats were done, and she should hurry up and get over it because Arin’s latest addition to the band was ‘hella talented’, to quote him. She NEEDED to meet this guy, in Suzy’s words, but not until she was out of heat because he was an alpha ne plus ultra. Thank God, Holly thought, sliding a hand between her legs and gently kneading her swollen clit. The last thing she wanted to do was meet with an alpha when she was feeling like this. She’d be a sitting duck for sure.


	2. Look What The Cat Dragged In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The "new guy" is very familiar....

A week later, Holly rose and realized something. 

She wasn’t horny.

It was such a total relief that she almost cried. Another heat cycle completed, another month survived. She celebrated by changing the sheets and taking a very long, very cool bath. She put on her antique white lace blouse and her blue chambray pants and accessorized with jangly brass earrings. A look in the mirror showed vitality and almost glowing relief.

Then she ate the pancakes and bacon Barry had left for her and washed the plates, stopping to coo over the cats and Feathers. Barry's parrot. 

“Welcome back to the world of the living,” Barry teased, handing her her phone. “Marguerite says she hopes you’re done, because the show’s been pushed up a week.”

Holly groaned, dialing up her boss at the repertory theatre downtown. “Helloooo Marguerite,” she sang. “Oh, of course – right as rain, I’ll be in usual time. And don’t worry, I’ll bring the samples. See you soon, thank you so much for understanding, too! Bye bye!”

She hung up and tucked the phone into her pocket. “Going to the bar tonight?”

“Straight from work. Please tell me everything’s still holding up.”

“Suzy’s been doing her usual great job. The new guy though….” Barry wiggled his eyebrows. “He’s something else. Might just be the stroke of good luck Arin needs, too.”

“You and Suzy rave about this guy like he’s the second coming.” She expected to be wowed whenever she met up with this dude, but it was a thought that she’d examine after work. Barry laughingly nudged her off to work befoe heading off to his own job.

Holly walked to work that morning, relishing the feeling of the cool breeze kissing her skin, the warm sunshine contrasting perfectly with it. The sky was blue. Children seemed happier. It was a beautiful early summer morning and she almost wanted to skip as she entered though the staff entrance of the New Layton Theatre. It was a sensation that dissipated when Marguerite flew at her with a line of costumes for the chorus, all of which needed to be hemmed.

Welcome back, indeed.

A typical day followed, with the usual level of panic, the regular amount of gossip and an ordinary day at tech rehearsal. At least she got to share lunch with Suzy afterwards out in the park. 

Her walk to the 84 Club was much slower and more contemplative. Suzy met her at the back door, and she shepherded her gently toward the dressing room. Arin was already fully dressed and in costume, so all she had to do was alter his pants a couple of times before he was called to the stage. 

“So then I told my boss I knew a guy who went to school with Mike Westen and he didn’t believe me!” Arin shook his head. “I swear, some people…”

“True tragedy, babe,” Suzy remarked lightly, filing her nails. Arin’s oncoming smart remark was silenced as the door to the dressing room swung open.

“I’m so, so sorry I’m late, my boss made me work a double shift, and…” the voice trailed off. Holly chuckled into her hands at the shocked expression he wore.

“Do you know each other?” asked Suzy, raising an eyebrow. “Because I thought you’ve never met and he’s totally my surprise. He’s absolutely amazing and I hope you like him.” She pushed the singer toward Holly as he reluctantly tried to resist he shoving.. He towered over Holly as he looked down at her but she kept her head tilted up, as if she were basking in the sunshine of his existence.

Then, with great ceremony, Suzy said, “Dan Avidan, this is Holly Conrad.”


	3. Rock Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holly watches Dan sing. She is not enraptured, not at all..

Dan’s laugh was nervous as he tugged his hair out of his eyes. It was impossibly long and curly, and Holly wondered how he managed to compress it back into a ponytail every single time he went to work. “We’ve met,” he said. 

“I’m really surprised you remember.”

“I never forget a face,” he admitted, trying to stand back and shove his hands into his pockets. 

“At his day job,” Holly admitted, for the benefit of the others. “He was my waiter a couple of days ago.”

“Ohhh,” Suzy said, smirking at the picture the two of them made. Dan’s dark eyes crinkled slightly as he bit back a smile, informal in his camel coat and long scarf yet fascinatingly professional. 

Holly jabbed her hand forward and then shook him quickly. “Nice to see you with your hair loose.”

“Nice to see you without a mouthful of chicken,” he said, then winced at the impact of his words.

Holly chucked softly, couldn’t help but let the warmth cascade down her spine. His hands were enormous and soft, and they touched her quite carefully as they released her.

“So this is your new singer?” she asked Arin, who grinned and chuckled as he slapped Dan on the back. 

“The one and only,” he grinned. “Auditioned him last week and he passed with flying colors.” 

Dan laughed nervously, tugged on his hair. “Yeah, my last band went down the tubes a couple of weeks ago. When I saw Arin’s flyer I kinda leaped at the chance.”

Holly gave him a thin smile and said, “I’m glad. The last singer Arin had didn’t last too long.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault he and Suzy got into a fight over dinner,” Arin said. “I told him never to make fun of her spaghetti.”

“It’s my go-to recipe. I work hard on that shit,” Suzy pouted. “He called it cardboard.”

Holly shook her head. Suzy was very proud of her homemaking skills and anyone who dared question them was asking for a bruising. She hadn’t witnessed that particular incident but Suzy had filled her in on it later. 

“Is there room for me to change?” Dan patted the backpack he’d been dragging along with him. 

“Sure dude,” Arin grinned. “Bathroom’s down the hall. We’re on in six!” he warned him. Dan nodded, grinned, and took a right out of the room.

Holly followed him with her eyes the whole way until Suzy tugged at her elbow. Her grin was huge.

“Told you he was hot.”

*** 

“Hellooo and welcome to the 84 Club!” Arin said. He was wearing a white karate robe that he’d taken from his last job and, in spite of the goofy outfit he actually did a decent job commanding the stage. “My name is Arin and I’m gonna be blasting your balls off with my rocking new tunes!”

“BRING BACK THE CHICK IN THE TUBE TOP!” someone in the crowd yelled, and Holly shrunk down, sipping her beer and trying to look inconspicuous. This was a typical reaction to Ain’s rapping, and she and Suzy had learned to let it roll off their backs.

“Annnd,” said Arin, “For the first time tonight, may I introduce my new friends…Danny Sexbang!”

Dan crawled beneath the curtain and Holly’s eyebrow went up. The kimono was a bit much, and his enormous and dirty sneakers didn’t go with it. The audience went stone silent, and Holly felt a wave of sympathy for both guys. “Mr. Sexbang, are you ready to rock?”

“Fuck yeah,” Dan replied, reaching for Arin’s boom box. “In fact, I’ve got a song for you about a fellow we all know and love named…Luigi…”

The song looped through its familiar beats, and Holly barely paid attention until the chorus hit and, for the first time, she heard Dan sing.

Professional, soft, with brilliant clear tones. Holly was surrounded by professional singers at work, and Dan’s voice stood out even among them. When he sang – even goofy songs about video game characters - people shut up and paid attention. And so did Holly.

She didn’t know what it was about his voice that made her watch him intently, but he was strangely magnetic, using every inch of his body to draw the audiences, even his eyes. At one point their gazes locked and she forced herself to look away, close her eyes and absorb the music until the gig was over.

Suddenly the house lights were up, and Suzy was poking her elbow. “Come on! Let’s meet the guys backstage.”

Holly flushed, grabbing her coat and purse. She didn’t really want Dan to know how deeply he’d effected her during the gig, but she supposed it would show on her face when they met again.


	4. The First Taste

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awkward small-talk, and playing the 'getting to know you' game.

“So, you said your last band fell apart?” 

Holly was trying her best to make small talk with Dan. Once again he was dressed down, wearing a teeshirt and jeans, his hair tied back. He’d been nursing the same beer for an hour, occasionally tugging the label as it sweated its way off of the bottle. “Yep,” he said, cheerfully enough. “They were a synth pop thing. I had this proggy, new-agey kinda band last year – and a punk band the year before that. I was really into jazz fusion when I was a kid. I was in a few garage bands before that.”

“Ooh, I guessed right,” Holly laughed. “I thought you were experienced.” She blushed. 

Even _Dan_ blushed, and judging from his skin-tight stage outfit he was not the shy sort. “Yeah, girl,” he said lightly, sipping his beer. “I’ve heard you’ve done some great work downtown. Suzy showed me some of your sketches while you were uh…sick.” Had Suzy been fucking talking about her heats out of school? They were going to have a talk about boundaries soon. “You’re really talented.”

“So are you,” Holly said, no hesitation in her voice. He shrugged. “I mean it!” 

“So,” he said, “why did you pick New York? I’m guessing it’s because you want to do stuff for Broadway.”

He’d guessed well. She gave him an abbreviated story about her move that failed to include Ross. He nodded thoughtfully.

“Fresh starts are cool. Guess I moved back here looking for one myself.”

“You’re from Jersey, right?”

“My voice give me away?”

“Sort of.” She jiggled the ice cubes about in her glass. 

“You guessed right. I was living in LA for awhile but it didn’t work out. So, I came home.”

“How did you find Arin? Was it really a random flyer?”

He winced. “Yeah, a flyer in the men’s room in the Krogers on Twelfth. He was looking for a singer with personality who…” 

“Knows three chords and can grimace musically.” Holly smirked. “I helped him word that thing ages ago.” 

“Well, look at you, Miss Matchmaker,” Dan teased. She just laughed at his kindness. “So,” he said, “do you like D&D?” 

It was a far-fetched question, but it made her eyes light up.

*** 

“…Would you nerds like to go home now?”

Suzy’s fond question was…well, barely a question. Holly looked up from her napkin to see her friend standing by, hands on her hips, keys jingling between her fingers. Arin was almost asleep standing up beside her, head on her shoulder. “After I finish planning my first charge against his army.”

“Umm, there’s no way you’re going to win,” Dan said, shoving his now-loose hair back. “I have a badass orc with magic casting abilities.” 

“They’re all in boob armor,” she said. 

“That’s because boob armor is the coolest!”

“Please finish this in private,” Suzy begged them both. “The last train leaves in ten minutes. Dan can walk, we can’t.”

“Okay,” Holly sighed, handing Dan the napkin. “Catch me later?”

“Yeah, I have your email. Sweet talking to you, lady.”

“Same to you.”

As Suzy walked Holly out to the subway they were giggling. “You are so fascinated!” Suzy declared.

“I am not!” she protested hotly. “And why the hell were you telling this stranger about my heats?”

“I told him you had the flu and he wanted to bring you soup,” she laughed. “The last thing you needed at that time was a visitor.”

True. But she didn’t need to _say_ so. Holly shook her head and leaned into the window glass. Time breezed by, and her mind- involuntarily – drifted back to her happy evening with Dan.

In spite of herself, she spent the long trip to bed wondering if he was somehow thinking of her.


	5. Your Wildest Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holly dreams about Dan - and is then confronted by the real thing at work.

She was a queen, settled on a magnificent throne in an ornate room. She felt as proud and satiated as a lazy house cat, waiting for her next bit of prey. 

And she saw him standing there, helmet in his hand, eyes brown, wide and sincere. His hair was tied up as it had been when he’d waited on her, but his outfit was in shades of bright blue as it had been in his stage uniform. She had a completely ridiculous flash of foolish anxiety as his eyes devoured her. She was a queen. She should take his tribute with gratitude.

Even in her fantasies, Dan came dressed to impress.

“My lady has bade me come,” he said, voice soft and velvet-soothing to her nerves. 

“I have,” she said.

“And what does my lady request of me?”

Holly’s lips slid upward into a smile as she pulled aside the heavy weight of skirts.

His eyes shined in the light. The throne room was empty, bereft even of guards as he walked toward the throne and bent his head. “”Whatever my lady requests,” he said, and lowered his face between her legs. 

Pleasure rolled over Holly, arrowing from between her legs to her nipples, again and again, making her moan and roll her hips toward his cupping hands. But he knew exactly what she wanted, how hard she needed to be touched, the perfect fantasy lover. It built and built and built and the light got brighter and brighter. Just before she reached the peak of her pleasure the room grew unbearably hot and unbearably bright. 

Her body lurched toward that brightness, toward that pleasure. 

As she came awake, one hand shoved down her pants and her sex throbbing against the tips of her fingers, Holly wondered simultaneously at the pleasure and the weird baroqueness of her sexual fantasy. It wasn’t enough for her to dream about being eaten out by a cute guy; she had to dream herself some sort of lost princess entertaining a knight.

Holly lay flat in bed, hoping beyond hope that this wasn’t some sort of nightmare situation, that she hadn’t gone into a secondary heat. If she had she’d have to go to a clinic and be examined, to make sure she wasn’t experiencing an illness. But the urgent sensation of pleasure had died with her orgasm, and she got up, changed the sheets, showered and got on with the morning.

****

As she idled on the subway, as she finished off the costumes she’d been working so hard on, Holly wondered at her weird imagination. She barely knew Dan; why the hell had she had a sex dream about him? Sure he was cute, but the idea of being somebody’s mate still left her cool. She would never surrender herself that way; not the way she’d given herself to Ross, and not in a way that would bind her to someone for eternity. Not even her longing for change made that idea worthwhile. 

One last rosette basted to the hem of the dress and she was ready to go to lunch. She was released to the wild by her boss five minutes late.

“There is a man waiting for you in the lobby,” she said, with some distaste. Madame did not believe in letting personal relationships overpower business, not even when business was in a fallow period. 

Holly shrugged, took her sack lunch from her cubbyhole and left her workroom. In the lobby she expected to find Arin, but instead, in his black-rimmed glasses with his hair tied back, stands Dan.

He was still in his uniform, and lurched toward the grand staircase as she walks down it. “Hello,” she said, unable to keep the clear confusion she felt out of her tone. 

“Hi,” said Dan nervously. “Um…Suzy said this is usually around when you have lunch, and I’m off on break for about an hour, so I was wondering…”

“What?” Her voice softened as his eyes went wide. He looked for all the world like a deer caught in headlights. “What were you wondering?”

He quickly pulled a small white blossom from his pocket – a daisy, at the peak of its freshness. “Would you like to have lunch with me?”

She pushed aside her fantasy of the courtly knight coming to pay tribute to his lovely patroness and took Dan’s hand.


	6. Teases The Crack in Me; Smittens Me With Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holly and Dan's First Date

“So,” he said cheerfully, “why would someone who grew up in the midwest – a part of the midwest that has to be nicer than this - move to a place like this?”

Holly sipped her tea before answering. “I never really got a foot in the door up there. I always felt as if I were meant to be someplace with a bigger stage. Not to sound conceited,” she flushed.

“You don’t,” Dan told her, smiling. “Like I said, Suzy showed me some of your work. You really do belong somewhere important.”

“So do you,” she said. “When you’re onstage…it’s like you were always meant to be singing.”

“Oh, thank you,” he said softly. 

She couldn’t help but smile at his modesty. “So,” she said, “the third Spider-Man reboot is opening on Friday…” He waited expectantly for her to say something. “Would you like to come with me?” she asked, before she could lose her nerve - before she could ask herself just why she was doing this, when she'd promised herself she wouldn't fall into a serious relationship.

He smiled. “I’d be honored, but I’m afraid I’m supposed to start my heat in a couple of days.”

She blinked. “Sorry. I never ask someone’s status when they…”

“I’m an alpha,” he admitted. “Uh…and I’ve got a way of helping me through my heats when they start,” he added quickly. “So it doesn’t affect anyone.” 

“Do you have somebody special?”

He shook his head. “Just a pack of friends-with-benefits alphas. We get a little wild in a crash pad every month.”

That seemed a fine way to work off a heat, if emotionally sterile. “Have you…ever been with an omega?”

He shook his head. “I figure that when I meet my omega – the one I’m supposed to be with – it ought to be special. No barriers, no walls…nothing between us but love.”

“You,” she said with a smile, “Are a total romantic.”

“Kind of, yeah,” he blushed, played with his hair, grinned at her. “Don’t you believe in true love?”

“I used to.”

He frowned. “Ouch.” 

“Yeah, I’ve been through some stuff. But it is so not time for me to dump my baggage on you.” She leaned back. “Let’s just…enjoy the beautiful afternoon for what it is.”

“Sounds great to me,” admitted Dan.

And as they ate together comfortably, Holly let a wave of peace wash over her. It felt right to be there with Dan, natural to just let herself relax and enjoy the world around them.

That night, Holly sat back and thought about what she and Dan had said to each other as she listened to Barry play a game, listened to him curse and mildly complain at his own lack of foresight. 

There was something about Dan that was indescribable. Delicate. Yet somehow he was an alpha? How could that be true? She’d never have guessed just from looking at him.

It made her want to experience him in his full glory, tender and powerful. It wasn't anything she desserved, anything she could commit to - but oh, did she want it.

The very idea made her flush, excuse herself to Barry and turn in early for the night. She and her fingers had a little bit of working out to do.


	7. You're Not Supposed To Be Here At All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan goes into heat, and Holly learns a few things about his circumstances.

It was four days in before her curiosity started to get the better of her. She’d made herself busy with work, but once the costumes were tucked up and set for last minute tucks and take-ins – she was basically on stand-by during rehearsals, helping out the prop and set departments, hauling things, painting things, arranging things. In a week previews would begin and her every night would be consumed by anxious watching and emergency stitches. It wasn’t satisfying, not at all like whipping up a costume from scratch or creating a prop from a piece of cardboard, so she went on autopilot, hanging out with Barry and Suzy and Arin at night. Suzy and Arin, naturally couldn’t refrain from teasing her over her quasi-date with Dan.

“Just between you and me,” Arin said, “I think he really likes you.”

Holly could have melted right into the sofa and died. Were they suddenly back in elementary school, shoving notes into the cracks of their lockers, checkboxing their love or hatred? Holly didn’t know how Dan felt about it, but at heart she just wanted to talk to hang around him, to learn things.

All of those feelings were bottlenecking in her mind and soul. And so, like a child in a moonlit garden, her creative mind wandered. In her dreams she was a pirates being loved by a rogue privateer; in her fantasies she was a conquering warrior; in her fantasies they made love in a rose-filled meadow as birds sang nearby. 

She didn’t imagine that Dan had fantasies of her – not when he was surrounded by a pack of alphas all day, working through his own heat, pushing through his lust - but she wondered if he was lonely, even in that sweaty crowd.

She got an answer on a Saturday night, just under a week since their last meeting. A strange number, just before midnight – she shouldn’t have answered it but fear seized her by the throat and made her pick the receiver up.

The voice on the other end of the line was unfamiliar. “Uh – is this Holly? Holly Conrad?”

“It is,” she said. Immediately she wondered if her mother was in some sort of trouble, if it was her grandfather. The strange voice sounded a bit urgent and caffeinated her to wakefulness.

“Um, you don’t know me but I’m one of Dan’s roommates. Dan Avidan? The tall skinny dork who sings?”

“I know him,” she said. Basically, she did.

“Uh, this is weird but he’s at our place going through his heat and he’s kind of…calling your name? In his sleep. And it’s kind of keeping the rest of us awake…” 

She flushed. The man was going on and on. “…we’ve all got nine to five jobs and he’s being loud as hell, dude. There’s a reason why he usually uh…goes off to do his duty. So, you think you could come see him?”

“I’ll need your address first,” she said. He gave it – it was one of those lofts on the North Side, an artist’s community where the rent was low but the trade-off involved sleeping ten to a room on mattresses on the floor. She wasn’t surprised he didn’t have money for a better place – he was a waiter, after all, when he wasn’t singing. She took a cab down and walked up to the curb – the cool brick exterior didn’t betray much. She kept the cab idling behind her in case she needed a witness, or to run. There was a man at the door in his pajamas, chubby and with a nest of blue hair crowning his head. He actually gave her finger guns when she approached. 

“Holly, right?”

“Yes,” she said, carefully keeping herself at running distance.

“He’s in the last stall at the back of the building…” The second he said the words Dan came charging out of the semi-darkness, past people sleeping in their carefully-decorated mini apartments. She could barely see the carefully decorated interior that nearly made the industrial gloom inside look like a proper home. 

“Dude, I fuckin’ told you not to…” He trailed off at the sight of Holly and went quiet.

Dan looked like hell. His dark eyes were ringed with grey bags, and his hair formed a mane of thick, untamed curls around his face. He was wearing grey sweats and was bleary of manner and expression.

He also had an obvious hard-on straining against the fly of his pants.

He flushed and stared at his own toes as she dismissed the cab driver. “Uh,” the roommate said, “I’m going to leave you guys alone.” 

“Thanks,” Dan mumbled, and shuffled up to Holly. “I’m so sorry you had to come all the way across town.” He settled down in the doorway and she sat beside him. “It’s just the last tail end part of it. I get uh…weirdly loud at the end.”

A wave of alpha scent rolled over her, making her wince – Dan was a walking ball of hormones even this late into his heat. Some part of her responded, and she bit her lip, careful not to let on.

“What happened to your pack of alphas?”

Dan hid his face in his hands. “The two of them got married and decided to break it to me after the first day. Things got hinky as fuck, so I split.” He peeked through his fingers, hair a cloud of musk. “I've been sweating it out here, alone. I told him not to call you but I was apparently I really was being really fucking loud.”

Holly took a good look at Dan in the light pouring in through the warehouse’s door. “You dream about me?"

The admission came with obvious embarrassment. “Yeah. I really didn’t want you to know yet,” he admitted. “I’ve kind of been around the block a few times. I don’t want to fuck this up and move too fast,” he admitted.

“I wouldn’t mind speeding things up some day,” she admitted. He leaned back against the doorframe; his blush, at her admittance, turned even brighter. “Should I go?” she asked.

“I won’t do anything with you…to you. Not until we’re both ready,” he said. 

“Okay,” she said.

“Holly, I know this sounds stupid…” 

“What?”

“Can you tell me a story? Anything. I just really need to calm down,” he said.

He leaned into her shoulder as she closed her eyes. The words came naturally, easily. 

“Once upon a time, there was a princess who always dreamed of a handsome prince, who would come to save her…”

They sat together for a long time, as the sun grew brighter and Dan drooped away into a peaceful sleep 

And Holly held him up, wondering what the next step could be.


	8. Stratagems And Tenderness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still confused about her new feelings for Dan, Holly takes part in Arin and Suzy's d&d session, unaware that they've invited a special guest to join them in the battle.

“You let him sleep on you?”

Holly flushed, sipping at her jelly jar of Coke quietly. She was at Arin and Suzy’s place for a night of d&d and she and Suzy were sharing a pre-play drink in the living room while Arin cooked up a cold cut plate in the kitchenette. “It felt right,” she explained, fiddling with her cell phone. “He was so tired and he looked terrible and well…We didn’t do anything. Not that it would matter, because we’re not even actually dating, and he doesn’t want to move too fast - he just got out of an arrangement so he’s probably not even looking for someone, let alone an omega…” Suzy grinned into her coffee. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Because you’re both so cute,” Suzy said, putting down her mug and taking the tray from Arin as he entered. 

Holly wrinkled her nose at the cold cuts but he exited and reemerged with a tray of veggies and hummus dip, and she grinned as she picked up a celery stick. “Cute? How can we be cute together, we aren’t even a thing!” Suzy and Arin looked at each other and shrugged. She’d begun to unbox the game board and passed a set of dice to Holly. “And do you have to do that annoying couple thing where you act like you know EVERYTHING about mating?”

“We don’t know everything, Holly. Just a lot!” chirped Arin, as Holly groaned at him. Then their doorbell sounded. 

“Can you answer it?” Suzy asked, as she set up a series of figures and got a scratch pad together for stats. Holly did it without thinking, only later noticing how big Arin’s grin was.

If she hadn’t been distracted by their general weirdness she might’ve guessed who was waiting behind the door. As it was she was surprised to see Dan standing there in his requisite jeans and band teeshirt, his leather jacket draped over his shoulder.

“Dan!” she blurted out. 

“Hi, Holly,” he said awkwardly. His cheeks were stained pink and he bit his bottom lip before smiling. “Can I come in? I brought my dice – I’m ready to roll.”

“Oh, sure!” She took his jacket and draped it over hers on the hat rack. She deliberately avoided eye contact with Arin and Suzy - she knew in two seconds flat that Suzy had set them up on this little quasi-date and didn’t know if she was overjoyed about the situation or angry.

“Why don’t the two of you team up,” Suzy suggested. “We’ll start a whole new campaign. Holly, will you be playing Alinor again?”

“Oh yeah,” Holly grinned. There was no reason to ignore the existence of her level five spellcasting half-elf mage, after all.

“Do you have a character, Dan?” asked Suzy, handing him a pad. 

He dug into the front pocket of his jeans and produced a small pewter figure, placing it on the game board. “His name is Sir Daniel of Sexbang, he’s a human paladin and he’s a +10 in combat with a plus ten xp in stealth.” 

Holly raised an eyebrow. She wondered if Dan had ever played with Arin before – the guy’s games could be brutal, if occasionally silly. But she smiled as Arin read off the game’s premise to all of them.

It would be an adventure, she hoped.

 

 

*** 

 

 

“NO!” Dan yelped, as he rolled a one, failing his dexterity check. 

“And with an ear-piercing scream, Sir Daniel falls into the volcano’s churning, boiling, bubbling mouth, taking…” Arin rolled his dice and winced, “a hundred points of damage. Sorry, bro.”

“That’s it, I’m toast,” Dan sighed, leaning back into the sofa. “Carry my sword back to Attitude City, Alinor.”

“Can I cast a resurrection spell?” Holly wondered. 

Arin shrugged. “You need to pull him out of the lava first, and then you can try, but he’s kind on fire.…” Holly rolled for skill. She got a zero.

“Crap!” she said. 

“Yep, he’s good and dead,” Arin said. “You have a couple of choices here. What do you want to do?”

“I bow and pay my respects, then get the hell away from the mouth of the volcano.”

“Smart move,” Arin said. “What do you want to do, Suzy?” 

“Throw the emerald into the volcano before one of us falls in,” Suzy said, giving Arin a meaningful look.

“Roll for dexterity and luck,” Arin suggested. 

She got sixes, which was enough for her to get the emeralds into the volcano. It was Arin’s turn, and he managed to roll double zeroes, which meant Suzy would have to yank HIS body out of the lava on her way back down the mountain.

“Why don’t you try surfing down on my half-melted bones?” Dan asked.

“THAT WON’T WORK. GOD! FUCK ME IN THE ASS!” Arin yelled, which made Dan double over laughing in his seat while Suzy rolled her eyes at him.

“What?” he smirked at her. “In two weeks you’re going to be doing that…” he leaned into her side and wiggled his eyebrows, just to get shoved away.

“Oh my God! PLEASE stop it!” Suzy cried out.

“Oh sorry, how should I put it? You’re going to be plundering my sweet center.” 

Suzy hit Arin upside the head with a throw pillow as he howled his laughter, but Holly finally noticed that Dan was studying them with something close to nervous interest.

“So you’re the alpha and he’s the omega?” Dan sounded a little uncomfortable holding that knowledge, knowing that much about people he barely knew, but Arin and Suzy weren’t at all ashamed of any aspect of their connection.

“Duh, dude – and we’ve known since we were fifteen.” He dropped his head into her lap.

Suzy played with Arin’s hair, looking like a lion tamer. “And we’ve been happy together ever since.”

Dan’s expression was poignant. He glanced downward at his folded hands, then looked up and saw Holly watching. His smile was slightly crooked as he picked up his Sir Daniel figure and popped him back into his front pocket. 

Holly picked up her dice and rolled them in her palm. “Let’s see if we can get down off of the mountain,” she said, and let them fall where they wished.

 

*** 

 

A few hours later, Dan was walking her to her subway stop, his hands tucked into his own pockets, his distance respectful but comfortable. She clearly remembered the sensation of him tucking his head onto her shoulder; in the doorway of that loft, the two of them could not have been closer.

“It’s amazing,” he said suddenly.

“What is?” He might’ve meant anything from the oversized moon looming over their heads or the hot dog vendor plying his wares a few inches away.

“The thing Arin and Suzy have. Like, all of my life I’ve watched my parents moon over each other the same way, my grandparents too – they’re just…it’s so real for them, so easy.”

“Do you want it?” She didn’t know anything about what he was feeling. 

He smiled. “I want it and I’m afraid of it. But with you…” He shook his head. “…Whatever we are. Ugh. What do you want, Holly?”

She shrugged. “The last time I tried this, the guy in question left me for my physics professor.”

Dan’s eyes widened. “Um. I promise I won’t leave you for a dude, if that helps.”

She smiled. “Weirdly, it does.” They walked down toward the ticket terminal, bought Holly’s pass home, and then lingered on the platform. 

“I don’t know what we are,” she said, “but I like it. It feels like it fits, which is super rare.”

They faced each other. The air smelled like popcorn and gasoline. Lights were flickering in the distance – her train was coming. “Holly?” he said.

“Mm?”

“May I have the honor of kissing you?”

She moved toward him eagerly, and he pulled her – gently but quickly – into his embrace. His arms were around her, hands barely touching the curve of her waist, and her palms

Warmth. That was the sensation she felt as he kissed her. A sweet, springish sensation of warm sunlight and sweet smells and grass growing beneath her toes. All around her was his cinnamon scent, the muffled gasps of his surprise. She pulled herself up a few more inches and deepened the kiss, his hands sliding down her back, spreading heat through her body under the layers of leather and wool.

Then the rumbling of her train pulling in brought everything to a halt. They pulled away and regarded each other shyly. 

How had this happened? Where did it come from? 

Dan’s smile was crooked, and his eyes shone with suspicious brightness as he watched her. “Thanks for trying to pull me out of that volcano,” he said, and bit down on his bottom lip.

“Thanks for lending me your skeleton,” she said.

“You have to be super special to ride my bones, baby,” he said. There it was again: that strange combination of innocent and ribald that made up his entire countenance. "Also, you're welcome."

His behavior became more gentlemanly when they were surrounded by people. He helped her onto the train; made sure they scanned her ticket, and left her by the sliding doors with a kiss to the back of her hand.

Holly watched him until the train pulled off, and then, warm from the top of her head to the tips of her toes, she drove all the way home with the memory and scent of him comforting her consciousness like a sweet fog.


	9. Your Secret Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holly goes into heat again, and when Dan goes out of his way to bring her a gift she comes to a realization about her feelings.

She went into heat during the last week of previews. 

Of course she did – right on schedule, at the worst possible moment, within inches of them having the show on the road. Barry called Madame for her when she fell into an early morning frenzy and she lost herself in the ink of the night, of her passionate fantasies. She burned through batteries and sucked down glasses of water and barely existed beyond her own arousal.

Most of them were about Dan by now, and all of them involved being made love to, whether gently or roughly. She’d be embarrassed for herself, were she not lost in the swirling joy of her own lust. She had a much richer fantasy life than this, usually.

Night and day melded into a ball of bright orange flame; Holly felt nothing beyond her own orgasm. Three days into her heat – at her absolute frenzied peak – there was a knock at the door. “Uh, Holly? There’s a guy here to see you.”

She – with three fingers buried within her, wildly humping against the vibrator pressed to her clit – was in no mood to talk. “WHO?” she yelled over the sound of the motor.

Barry sounded embarrassed as she’d feel, later, remembering this. “A guy with a lot of hair? He says he brought you some soup.”

Holly’s frenzy abated somewhat. “Oh. Uh….” She sat up and pulled the covers to her chin, her whole body trembling with frustration. “Thank you, Dan?”

“You’re welcome.” His voice, overly bright and chipper, shook from nearby. “Uh…Suzy said she heard you were in heat again, and I know how hard it is for me so…I tried to make you soup. Most of it didn’t burn. I followed my grandma’s recipe. Hope you like it?”

“I…I’m sure I will. Are you doing okay?”

“Yeah, I’m….fine…” He didn’t sound fine to her but she made no further comment.

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Barry said. “You look a little wobbly.”

“My question is, why aren’t YOU wobbly? Can’t you smell how good...?” He trailed off, sounded embarrassed. Apparently whatever pheromones she had when she was in heat appealed to him. This didn’t surprise her but it was remarkably comforting.

“’I’m a beta?” Barry said. “And I’m immune to Holly’s scents. All of them, by now.”

“Oh.” She heard Dan shift away from the door. “I think I’ve gotta go. Holly! There’s a card and some cookies in the bag, too!” It almost sounded like Dan was running away from the scene. 

“I’ll be here if you need me,” Barry added. Soon she once again heard the familiar sound of him typing away in the bedroom, partnered with the familiar chirping of the birds in their cages.

Holly slipped a hand between her legs and sighed. She’d almost thought to ask Dan to help her out. But slow was their watchword, even when her heart was beating like a drum in her chest demanding the beauty of speed.

***

When her body finally calmed for the night, Holly opened the door to her bedroom and found the card and cookies, left behind by Barry. She’d heat up the soup later – her skin was burning, too warm to stand the addition hot food to her empty stomach. Ravenously, she tore into the cookies – they were buttery, chocolaty, and a little burnt around the edges. She realized suddenly he’d gone to this effort just to comfort her and felt a wave of tenderness touch her.

The card he’d given her – handmade, with a little flower drawn on the front – was a simple get well message, with a red heart on the inside. She tucked it close to her chest and inhaled the scent of his skin. She was _hungry_ for him, for his voice, for his touch, the way he smiled at her, the feeling of his hand in hers. It wasn’t a purely sexual want on her part at all. This mess would’ve been so much simpler if it were.

That tenderness she bore for him was turning into love, day by day, with every step they took toward each other. No – not turning – this was love.

So there it was, the ultimate truth, lying bare and harsh in the morning light. She loved him. Lying in bed, the tingling arousal pooling between her legs, in her breast, it couldn’t be clearer.

He’d brought her soup when she was in misery. He held back his own lust for her, even though he could smell her. 

He’d put her first. No one had done that before.

How could she not love him?


	10. One Cool Remove Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holly returns Dan's soup pot, witnesses a Starbomb rehearsal and learns how to play a single bass note, and gets a little closer to Dan.

A week later she woke up with dry skin and a general feeling of relief. That had been a particularly tough heat, and as she washed the sheets and took a hot bath she wondered how they were getting along without her down at the theater.

And, more importantly when she would see Dan again.

Barry wasn’t home from his day job yet, and shifting through her phone left absolutely no clue as to what was happening in her friend’s group. She called Madame, learned that the first half week of performances had gone well and all she really needed to do was run the swan’s dance costumes to the laundry. Holly arranged to pick them up later in the afternoon – it’d be a good enough reason to go downtown. 

She did find a video of Ross teaching his daughter to sing her A-B-Cs in five different languages on Facebook, and then vowed to keep as much distance between herself and social media today. 

Holly bided her time instead. She played with the birds that early afternoon, and spent some time sewing sequins on a new cloak, which would be worn to the company’s wrap party. She had lunch, washed the dishes, and at the bottom of the pile sat the pan that had once held Dan’s soup. She rinsed it out, grinning to herself. There was an even better excuse for her to be at Dan’s loft. 

She arrived sometime past noon, with two big white fluffy dresses draped over her shoulder.

The city streets outside of the loft sizzled as she climbed the stoop, and Dan’s roommate lifted his chin in acknowledgement as he let her in. In the concrete bowels of the building something was howling, and she recognized Arin’s off-rhythm rapping. She followed the pathway of cubical and half-made rooms, until she found a large rehearsal space, where Arin and Dan were entertaining a tiny cluster of Dan’s fellow roommates. She left the dresses by the doorway and listened to them play.

Arin spotted her right away “Hey, look who’s out of heat!” Arin yelled, and Holly groaned. Dan averted his eyes at the comment, turning red. She scanned the room for Suzy’s presence but didn’t notice her friend anywhere.

Dan sidled up to her then, smiling awkwardly, and she held out the clean pot. “Thank you.”

“It’s cool. I mean, whenever I feel that bad I want my mom and a huge bowl of matzo ball soup.” She winced at the word mom and he shot her a curious look, but she said nothing. “Can you stay? Me and Arin are going to practice Glass Joe’s Title Fight, if you want to listen?” He picked up his bass, a blue Rickenbacker that had seen better days, from its spot on the stage floor.

“Sure,” she said. And listen she did. They were getting markedly better, the more they worked at it. She locked eyes with Dan, smiled. Felt heat rush up into her cheeks and chest. 

“Did you like it?” Arin teased, and she fondly rolled her eyes. 

“Of course.” She gestured toward Dan’s bass. “I always wanted to learn how to play,” she admitted, “but I never did learn.”

“Want a couple of lessons?” Dan sat at the rim of the stage with his bass and gestured for her to stand between his legs. She flushed at the intimacy of the position but did nothing to gainsay him. His chin rested upon his shoulder as he gently molded her fingers to the fretboards.

“This is a ‘c’,” he explained, and he encouraged her to pluck the strings. Holly produced a sound similar to music at Dan’s encouragement but it wasn’t quite right.

She paused still. The heat of him filled her muscles, and his breath puffed against the back of her neck. His hands were undemanding and gentle upon hers, barely touching her. All of that hunger came back to Holly tenfold.

And he was hard and warm against her thigh.

“I am so sorry,” he muttered.

Holly laughed. “I wasn’t complaining.” _And I love you,_ she thought to herself, but didn’t say it. In fact, she pressed herself back into him. 

Dan didn't make a move, though he did growl - a low, deep sound at the bottom of his throat, curious and probing, a noise that made her legs weak. “You smell really nice, Holly,” he said at last, and buried his face in her hair.

For a long time he held her there, and she leaned into him, half-animal, half-human, as their audience left the room and Arin left them alone, sunlight pouring in on their faces. Holly stood on the edge of something sharp and dangerous. Yearning for him. Afraid of the gap. Picturing a little girl with Ross’ blue eyes smugly saying the alphabet in French, and what loving could risk her.

But when he held her like this, she managed to forget.


	11. Candy Spun From Head To Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Holly embark on a spontaneous third date.

“Are you busy tonight?”

Holly shook her head, smiling as Dan cautiously took her hand and led her over the steps of the loft. He had stowed his bass away and escorted Arin to the bus stop before walking Holly to the subway station.

She shook her head. “If you’re not doing anything…maybe we could try this vegan place that’s on Fourth Street? I’ve heard a lot of good things about it.”

“You’re vegan?” He winced. “I’m sorry for the soup.”

She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his lips. “Don’t be. That soup is what helped bring us together.” 

He ginned at her, lips still glistening from her gloss.

*** 

She dressed up for the meal; a simple peasant dress with a soft hat, all in shades of violet. The restaurant was bustling when she arrived, but Dan had already gotten them a table. He was nervous but smiling when she arrived, and pulled out a chair, let her order first and offered her part of his mock-milkshake. He’d tied his hair back, had put on a suit and looked much as he did at the restaurant job.

“Tell me about yourself,” she said, and the line was such a stock opening that they both laughed at it.

“So where should I begin?” he asked. 

“Maybe,” she said, “we should talk about our childhoods.”

That was easy enough for Dan. He was the son of a kindergarten teacher and a jeweler, had grown up a few hours away in suburban New Jersey; the rest she knew. 

It was harder to talk about her more deprived background, about life in her grandmother’s trailer, about her mother’s abuse, about breaking away and running off to New York with no money in her pocket and one change of clothing. He took all of this in with sympathy, teary-eyed over his French fries.

When they left together, he draped his jacket around her shoulders like a mantle, a protective screen.

“Do you want to go to a movie?” she wondered.

He shook his head. “That was the mast of my paycheck,” he admitted. “But uh…can we go to your place for awhile? Hang out?”

“I’d love to,” she said. And she knew that Barry would be out on his own date, that the apartment woul be empty. 

And that she would have Dan all to herself.

**** 

They sipped cups of tea as an action movie blared over the tv, their bodies curled together, comfortable, a repetition of their afternoon cuddle. Holly felt him tug her close and she locked eyes – he was anxious, visibly so. 

“May I kiss you?” he asked.

She kissed his chin, answering him.

The make-out session that followed felt miraculously natural, with his long arms wrapped around her back, fingertips dancing softly up and down in search of some purchase, warm hands finally finding the neckline of her dress and teasing their way up under a strap.

She startled in his grip when she felt his fingers spread out along her shoulder. The “Can I touch you?” he asked. 

She took his hand and placed it on her breast, over the dress, and hooked her own fingers upon his ribs, waiting.

The gentleness inherent in his body seemed to translate to his every sexual gesture; her breasts were weighed gently in his grip, kneaded until her breath stuttered and cut, big thumbs pressing gently against the nipples until they puckered.

“Oh! Dan!” she blurted out, and he stopped kissing her to look down, eyes feverish and muzzy in their heat.

She flushed. “You can take the straps down,” she said.

He smiled. “You’re so…creamy. Soft,” he added. “I didn’t expect you to feel like this at all.”

“Was…” she licked her lips as she brushed her own hands over his chest, playing with texture of his shirt anxiously, “I worse in your dream?”

“No! “ said Dan, “you were…untouchable. A white goddess,” he said. “But you’re so much softer – so…real. You’re real, the realest thing I’ve ever known.”

Holly groaned into his mouth at that declaration, desire and peace warring within her hot skin. Dan skimmed the top of her dress down as she tugged the hem of his shirt out of his pants and unbuttoned it until she could feel the soft texture of his hair against her palm, until she could feel the regular thump of his heart.

Dan gasped when she rolled and pinched one of his own nipples, eyes lighting up with fiery curiosity. He dipped his head as he tugged the shallow cups of her bra down, taking one breast into his mouth and worshipping it with his tongue, then giving its twin the same treatment, laving and kissing passionately but irregularly, supping of her flesh.

Holly was the one who made the bolder move, who pushed him away and knelt on the couch, leaning over his lap. She started to stroke Dan’s cock through his pants until he keened and rolled his hips, pressing himself against her palm. She squeezed his bulge and he groaned lower, something feral, animal sparking in his eyes – Holly, compelled by the sound, unzipped his pants and maneuvered the button fly open.

The head of his cock had stuck to a fold of his boxers; when she pulled the material back, His cock came free – thick, hot, and heavily veined, quivering in tune with his heart beat, almost scarlet in his need.

Lust and need curled up in Holly’s belly; she was compelled to wrap her fingers around him and gently stroke the heft. Dan whined and rocked through her loose grip; she peered up at him.

Then she gently took his cock between her lips and began to suck on the tip of him.

Dan shuddered, his hands tangling up in her hair, his mouth falling open on a muffled groan. Holly tasted sour-salty musk; sweat; the animal pulse of his sexuality. Dan made a violent sound of pleasure-pain through his nose and Holly felt victorious, like a siren who’d succeeded in tempting her prey as she took him slowly down her throat, trying not to choke. Her nose pressed into his pubic hair and she tried not to gag. It was different from Ross – he’d been a little longer but Dan was thicker, with a well defined knot that was slowly forming at the base. She imagined it buried inside of herself, her body throbbing around it, the heat of it spreading through her, sweet as brandy.

She worked his shaft with her hand, bobbing up and down, feeling the vein laden mass of him slide back and forth, pouring salt on her tongue, the knot climbing his shaft every time her tongue teased him, every time she sucked particularly hard, or her tongue teased against the head, or the base of his shaft. He couldn’t seem to stop groaning or sit completely still; the next time Holly took a breather to use her hands, his cheeks were beet red, his thumb stroking the top of her head, the other resting in the middle of her back, and his head thrown all the way back.

The pause brought him out of his daze and he gave her a hazy smile, grateful, his cock still jerking in her hand. Dan raised his head and said, “fuck, Holly – you’re so good, so fucking amazing so –ugh –sweetness – may I stroke your pussy?”

“Please,” she hissed, spreading her legs, feeling his big hand pull up her dress and slide over the hill of her bottom, to push aside her panties. His hand left her, and she saw a flash of pink tongue as he licked his own fingertips, and then returned it to that spot between her legs.

“Oh my God, you’re _dripping_.” His voice was throaty, and he slid his middle finger toward her clit, brushing about the bundle of nerves, and then slipping along her to circle her entrance. She took him back down her throat, moaning all the while, hearing his cry when she cupped his balls and started to gently massage them. His every return touch, every stroke upon her clit.

“Do you want my fingers inside?” he mumbled, his voice velvety. 

She circled her hips and he laughed. “You’re a woman after my own heart,” he said, and slipped his middle finger inside.

They were thin, and the knobby pressure against her walls felt welcome, a relief. She grunted and hunched back into Dan’s hand, and swallowed around him deliberately until he called her name. His fingertips rubbed her clit rapidly, making it swell, making her wetter. 

“Fuck, I wish I could lick you,” he grunted.

In this contest they were both winning, Holly was the first to crumble; hunching back into Dan’s hand, riding his fingers, squeezing his cock with her hand.

“Can I make you come, lovely girl?” he asked.

Holly cried out and arched her back, squeezing his hand between her legs. She wriggled and burned, throbbed, but gave him only the answer of her body’s passion. It was enough.

“C’mon Holly, you’re so close, you’re so wet, I can feel how much you need it. Come on me, come all over me!” 

His words were what drove her – what made her arch her back and shake as she lost it and came, flooding down his palms, squeezing and shaking as pleasure peaked her nipples and flushed her cheeks and made her grunt.

When the pleasant haze faded away, Dan was watching her, tenderness in his expression. “God. You’re one in a million.”

She took his compliment with a smile. “Me? I’m just…myself.” And then she took his cock in her hand and went back to sucking the head, licking him, taking him back down her throat, killing off his sense of reason. Her hand worked faster, rubbing the knot alternately, sucking on his shaft, then stroking Dan’s balls. A few minutes of this treatment was all he could take; the panting, moaning, the size and heat and stiffness of him – all of the began to peak.

Dan spoke up suddenly. “Holly, uh…you might…uh…wanna pull off?” 

She did pull off of him for a second, her hand still working his thick cock. “Why?”

“You’re getting my – my knot… _fuck_ Holly, I’m gonna fucking…” he bucked again and moaned, “jizz like a fucking geyser if you keep… **fuck!** ”

Out of curiosity, out of affection – and frankly to save the sofa – Holly dove back down and took Dan’s cock down her throat just as he started coming.

He actually yelled her name when he got off, and the sound rang in her ears and made the birds squawk. Sour salt blasted against her tonsils and she swallowed to keep from choking. Gulped and sputtered until she felt like she was drowning and pulled up off his cock, letting it splatter and drip down off of her face, down her cleavage, off of her arms and hands.

When Dan finally subsided she felt like a mess, but stayed there, kissed his wilting prick lovingly, his bare chest, his smiling, sleepy face. 

She smiled right back at him. “Good?”

“Amazing. Stupendous. My compliments to your mouth.”

She chuckled. “I’m gonna go get some towels,” she said. By the time she came back, freshly changed into a robe, he was already drifting off. He wiped himself up and Holly’s face and body, murmuring soothing words. 

His dress pants were probably going to need to be soaked, but that was something he said he’d take care of at home. Dan zipped himself back up and re-buttoned his shirt as she grabbed a lap blanket and pulled it over the both of them. Properly covered, he cuddle up against her side.

“Sorry I’m all…” he made a weak gesture. “When I come like that I turn into a zombie. Can you like…let me stay to cuddle?”

She could.

Messing around between heats was nicer than she remembered. Sweeter, with Dan curled up against her side, drifting off to the sound of The Rock blowing something up. She liked it. 

Loved it, actually.


	12. Cygnet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holly takes Dan to the ballet.

Madame swept into Holly’s work room on a cloud of Shalimar, waving two tickets in her manicured hand.

“DARLING,” she said, placing them at her table. “You have tonight off.”

She raised an eyebrow at her boss’ generosity – which was not unexpected, but still felt like a shock whenever it was deployed upon the needy. “But don’t you need someone to keep an eye on everything backstage?”

“Tush, darling.” She waved her hand rings and bangles jingling golden-bright upon her right hand. “You covered so well for Jennifer during her heat last week – doing TWICE your share – and the costumes were cleaned impeccably while you were in charge of them. Jennifer can take your shift and you can take in a night at the theatre from the perspective every human being should see it – mid-level orchestra.”

Holly couldn’t stop herself from giggling. At least Madame approved of her having some sort of fun on her dime. “Thank you,” she said.

“Nonsense. You’ve earned it.” She smiled. “You are on your way to bigger things, child. Much bigger than this.”

On a good day like this one Holly almost let herself believe that was true.

*** 

She was actually nervous when she called up Dan’s cell phone number during lunch. It rang twice before he picked up.

“Hello, baby,” he answered, sounding breathless. 

“Did I catch you at a bad time?” In spite of his harried tone she smiled at the endearment.

“Oh no. I’m just having lunch with Vernon; he works here with me…”

“Hi!” piped up a voice in the background, under the din of crashing plates and the sound of waiters calling for their orders.

“He says hi,” Dan said. “What’s up? Are we still on for the movies tonight?”

“Even better,” Holly said. “Madame gave me a couple of tickets to tonight’s performance. Um…you don’t mind ballet, do you?”

“I can’t say I’ve ever gone, but I would be delighted to go with you. It’s like, fancy dress, right?”

“Ties and jackets,” she said. Which meant she’d have to swing by home and change; a round-trip that could have been avoided.

“I’ll go right from work, then. Meet you in the lobby at seven?”

“Sure!” 

She bit back an I-love-you as she hung up, then turned back to her unfinished salad. It would be hours to go until she saw him. She’d count them all in quiet calmitude.

 

*** 

Dan was actually early – when she showed up in a pink cotton dress, four minutes before curtain he was nervously pacing in his tie and jacket, curls still pressed into a tight bun. His eyes lit up at the sight of her.

He shot to his feet, took her hand and led her up the staircase. “You look gorgeous.” He grabbed a bouquet of flowers from the seat beside him; a mixed-up wild assortment, a riot of pinks, purples and blues. “These are for you.” Very carefully he handed them over.

She grinned. “Oh, they’re beautiful!” 

Dan slid his hand into her free one into hers. “Ready to go?” he asked.

“Absolutely.” In tandem they headed into the theatre proper. 

** 

By the time of the second-act intermission she was sniffling, dripping tears into her open palm. Dance had never been one of her favorite mediums but everything on that stage had been beautifully rendered; she admired how hard all of the girls worked.

Dan’s own eyes were suspiciously wet when he brought her a small glass of wine, then took her fingers up. “I know nothing about what’s happening down there, but those girls know how to like, portray misery like no one’s business.”

Her smile was small. “I’ll tell them that, later.” 

Dan enfolded her fingers in his. Idly, as the lights flashed, she thought that his hands were enormous compared to hers, with fingertips longer than anyone she knew, his thick-tipped thumb a contrast to their tapered ends. So large they were, yet so gently they treated her, like glass, like porcelain.

What a treasure he was, she thought, and considered herself lucky when compared to tiny Odette, lost between humanity and birdkind.

*** 

“I have a feeling that you kinda related to Odette.”

They were having sushi at a divey little café near the theatre, and Holly’s eyes were still puffy from crying so hard. “A little. But I always wanted to be a bird when I was smaller.”

“No way! I wanted to be a dinosaur!” That felt so Danlike; of course he would want to be a dinosaur, of course he’d want to roam the world freely and eat where ever he chose. “Birds evolved from dinosaurs. I guess you could call this kismet.”

“I don’t think that counts,” she teased.

“Eh,” Dan smiled, popping a maki roll into his mouth. “Close enough.”

 

*** 

He walked her to the subway stop again, pecking her face with kisses. “I wish we had time to go back to your place,” he moaned. 

“Me too. But it’s too close to your heat,” she reminded him. And they both knew how dangerous it was for an omega and an alpha to have sex this close to a heat, that it could result in a claiming. She wasn’t sure if she was ready for that. But Dan wasn’t like any man she’d been with before; she looked at him and thought that maybe, maybe - someday, someday, with this man….

He killed off her thoughts with the sweetest of kisses. 

“Thank you for coming with me,” she said, when it broke. 

“Any time,” he said. “I’ll call you when it’s over – we’ll eat out or something – my treat, promise.”

She nodded, buried her face against his chest. When her ride pulled in she was even more reluctant than before to part from him. It was funny, she thought idly, how quickly he’d become so integral to her happiness.

But Holly put on a brave face, going home, watching him fade away as she re-entered the underground and waited out his heat.


	13. A Few Small Repairs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan is forced to call on Holly when Arin books them an important gig while he's mid-heat.

Three days sped by. She played with her birds and designed costumes for the next production; she had quiet lunches at diners or cafes; she hung out with Barry and played games or watched movies; she took up her ukulele and played it alone on the fire escape, cooing to the pigeons. All of this was pleasant in its own way but she yearned for Dan, missed his voice, his touch, the sound of his laughter.

Then out of the blue, her phone rang, and it was Dan’s number.

“Holly,” his voice warbled out, but then he cleared it, tried to deepen it. “I’m uh…I need help.”

Her heart sped. “What’s wrong?”

The words quickly spilled from him. “Arin booked us a gig for Friday, a real gig at an actual nightclub. I have no idea what to do, there’s no way my heat will be over, I’ll totally ruin it with my whole alpha pheromone bullshit thing and get us fired. I’ll have like, omegas trying to suck my tonsils through my nose and it won’t be cool!”

Holly’d had no idea about any of that; she and Suzy hadn’t been talking closely that week, as she and Arin were at the tail end of their cycles. But his flustered panic brought out the creative side of her. “Maybe I could make you something.”

“What kind of something?” Dan asked.

“Like a costume with scent blockers and a thick lining to suck up the sweat?”

Dan paused. “….You’d do that for me?” he asked. Funny how he seemed shocked when she’d given him her skills and time when she'd all but given him her heart at this point. 

“Anything,” she said. "I'd do anything for you."

A long pause. “I don’t, like, know if this the heat talking,” he said softly, “But you’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.”

She smiled. “If it helps,” she said, “you’re the most amazing man I’ve ever met.”

He gulped. “Uh,” he squawked out, “I’m going to go…use the bathroom. Talk to you soon, bye!”

She listened to the silence on her end of the phone and smiled, and immediately started sketching out her plans.

 

*** 

 

She didn’t have anything to use as a mannequin or form; Holly mostly worked by memory of his shape in her arms, through the sensation of what he felt like pressed up against her. It was easy enough to get it right with spandex, manually cutting and reshaping with light stitches, promising herself that she'd slice away if she needed to at the theater. The outfit came together by Friday through sheer will and love; an orgy of blue, with feather trim for the cape. She remembered his superhero outfit and sought to properly reconstruct it in a grander form, and as she toted it down to the Stardust Grille she hoped that she'd gotten it right. She waited for him outside his dressing room the day before the show, hearing the rapid thud of a bass guitar and thinking about what this gig could mean for them.

He looked miserable when he came barreling toward her from the stage, grey sweats clashing with his pale skin, making him look like a wraith. One whiff of her scent and he backed away, arms spread wide like Frankenstein's monster, grabbing the clothing from her and taking an immediate detour into his dressing room.

She knocked after a few minutes. "Are you okay, Dan?"

"Oh, fine!" he piped out, his voice embarrassingly high-pitched. She winced for him, and he coughed. “Huh. You don’t even need to alter it.”

Holly had been staring blankly at the door, inhaling the musk he'd been trailing, feeling strangely lulled by it. “Hmm?”

Dan peeped his head out, his curls sticking out wildly about his flushed face. “You don’t need to alter it at all,” he grinned. “It’s perfect.” He bent forward and pressed his lips to her forehead, and the calming lull his scent brought to her busy mind to another grinding halt. He gasped into her hair and forced himself back from her. When she opened her hazy eyes Dan was as tense as a tuning fork, and he gently pushed her away from him, then he hiked a tired thumb in the direction of the stage, his body goose-pimpled, the spandex suppressing his erection in a manner that looked a little painful.

But he didn’t smell like a man in heat anymore, so she supposed she’d accomplished her aim.

“I’ll be onstage,” he said.

“I’ll be waiting,” she returned, surprised at herself – knowing that they needed to keep a proper distance from one another. With that in mind she ducked into his dressing room as he left and closed the door behind her.

And then, quite suddenly, Holly was alone, submersed in a room thickly scented of her lover’s musk.

A sudden thrill coursed through her body, completely out of the blue but immediately intense. A sudden, painful shock of delight.

She knew this feeling.

Knew it too well.

“Oh no,” she whimpered, and slid into his chair, feeling a wash of passion sing through her nerves.


	14. Dancing In the Sheets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Temptation takes its toll...

She mightily tried to ignore the feeling coursing through her. Tried to squeeze her legs together and block out Dan’s delicious smell. But being around his clothing, smelling his skin, being this close to objects he had handled. 

Oh, she was in so much trouble. 

She slipped a hand down the front of her tights. He’d be rehearsing for hours. Maybe she could make a graceful getaway with just a taste of satisfaction lingering on her tongue….

Holly came the instant her fingertips brushed her hard clit and let out a helpless groan.

 

**** 

 

That wasn’t how it worked. Of course. She could never be lucky, could she? Two hours later she was sitting on the dresser table, driving the handle of his hair brush into and out of her sex while sobbing at the heat coursing through her veins.

She may have mumbled his name a few times as the emptiness inside of her yearned to be filled, yearned to be touched by something real and hot instead of a cold piece of plastic.

As she came for the third time, sobbing, clawing in frustration at her own chest, she heard the frantic sound of footfall further up the hallway. Someone was running toward her. Holly scrambled, reached for the hem of her tights, trying to pull them up her thighs, but then the door was flying open.

It was Dan.

She sobbed out his name.

His eyes dilated. His nostrils flared. He crossed the room in two steps.

“Tell me to stop, Holly,” he demanded, but he was kissing her, and it was all she wanted, and she was pulling on his hair frantically, trying to glue their mouths more closely together. “Oh God, baby,” he panted, coming up for air. “Do you really want this?”

She pulled her sweat stained teeshirt off, yanked at the hem of the tights she had so lovingly sewn. Dan fell on her, groaning like an animal in pain. 

 

**** 

She came once before he got his cock into her, then twice around him, moaning, dripping slick down his thighs, her whole body twitching as if she were being shaken by a giant. Her teeth stuck fast to his shoulder and her nails raking up and down his back.

Mid-stroke Dan pulled her off the vanity, into his lap and onto a chair, his hips moving the whole time, his face bright red, his mouth open on a soundless whine. And yet it still wasn’t enough. And yet she still craved more.

“Oh fuck,” she babbled. “Oh my God, oh fuck…fuck me!”

Holly knew what was coming and her entire body needed it, needed it as she’d never needed anything in her entire life before. The knot pressed hard and burning against her labia and she rode him frantically, desperately, trying to get it in, trying to satiate the need. Dan’s fingers bit into her hips, then they were cupping her sweaty face.

 _”Holly?_ The human and the animal in him were fighting for control. He looked pained. All she wanted to do was ease him.

 _”Dan!”_ she echoed back, so close, so achingly close.

Together they said it. Together, they lurched toward the vulnerable neck of the other and left a mark just deep enough to scar, deep enough to bruise with their sharp teeth.

 _Mine._ The word echoed in the back of Holly’s head and disappeared in a blast of blinding white, when she clamped down on his knot and shrieked into his flesh, blood trickling over her tongue, filling her throat, come filling her cunt. There was ecstasy, pleasure…then nothingness. 

Silence and peace.


	15. My Side of The Bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Aftermath. Holly decides to take Dan home.

Someone was kissing her shoulder. 

It didn’t take her long to remember just who was kissing at her. Slowly, Holly came to – slowly, she remembered. 

Dan’s flesh was warm and soft against her ear. She rubbed her face into the heat there- half embarrassed by her own forwardness. When the kissing turned to licking, she remembered her role. Immediately, her mouth found the small puncture she’d left on his neck and began to lick it, as he’d kissed her own wound. They didn’t stop until the marks were fully healed over, forever communicating their bond.

She couldn’t hide her face in his neck forever. She supposed that was the lesson she’d learned thanks to this relationship. When she sat back and looked at him – still joined to his body by the throbbing of his knot, still feeling the warmth of her relief, of his release – she saw nothing but love in his eyes. 

“Hi,” he whispered, his voice cracking slightly. He flushed, still shy with her, and she felt again the heat of his embarrassment. It had already begun, the melding of their lives into a single entity, and fear warred with pride and love in her stomach. “Hello,” he said, and his voice trembled. “I love you.”

Holly blinked away her own tears – tears? When had she begun to cry? - And raised a trembling hand to brush back his hair. She felt his worry. There was only one answer to the tumbling puzzle of her emotional state. “I love you, Dan.”

Relief blindsided her. He nuzzled the top of her head, nose buried in the baby fineness of her hair. “I promise,” he said, “I’ll take care of you. I’ll…I’ll use my degree. I’ll get a better job, and we’ll move to a safer place…”

She silenced the flow of thoughts and fears with her lips. “I don’t want you to change for me,” she said.

“But…”

She shook her head. “We did this together, Dan.” Involuntarily, her inner muscles squeezed about him and he let out a hiss. She could feel his knot beginning to go down, slipping from her. Soon enough she’d be ready for him again – soon enough he’d be hard and raring to go. “And um…speaking of together, I guess it’d be a good idea if you’d come home with me?”

Dan nodded. “Um…we’re gonna have to do some talking. Later.”

She kissed his chin. “Much later,”

*** 

They cleaned themselves off, , quickly and quietly, tried to cover up the scent of sex, the elemental breeze that still stirred her flesh and made her ache for him. Knock-kneed, she let out a gasp of surprise when he grabbed her hand.

“Let’s run for it!”

“But won’t people…” 

He shook his head. “We’ll attract way too much attention on the bus or the subway! This is quicker!”

Holly grinned when he tugged her up alongside him and they made haste for the back alleys of New York, racing blindly across town to her place. They arrived red-faced and happy, almost giddy from the race.

The apartment was blissfully empty as they stripped on their way to the bed. Empty, that was, except for each other.

Holly flung both of her arms around Dan’s neck and pulled him down to the bed, and as he closed out the sunlight with his slim shoulders she heard his rough voice in her ear.

“Alone at last,” he teased, and a moment later nested his face between her legs.


	16. The Softer Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As their heat breaks and the gig looms, Holly learns something about Dan, is forced to seek Barry's help when he collapses mid-act.

She lost track of it all – the ways and the times and the hows of their lovemaking. Sitting in his lap, rocking until he made desperate sounds of pleasure against her gasping lips. Him over her, their hips frantically slapping together; sitting in a chair, both palms rubbing her aching breasts, on the floor, at the edge of the bed, leaning against the bedroom window, splashing in the tub, his cock thick and hard and bucking up into her. They seemed to part only to eat, bathe, and use the bathroom; even those times, sitting loosely dressed, feeding and bathing each other, laughing at the compatible silliness under the surface, there was a lazy intimacy to their loving.

He did frighten her once. They’d been making love, standing, him holding her up and braced between the support frame of the bathroom door, their mouths glued hungrily together, when his knees gave way and he lost his balance, causing him to pass out cold.

“Dan?” she squawked, only noticing how red his skin was, how fever-bright his entire face was. Her shrieking drew Barry into the room, and he went into caretaker mode; not even noticing Dan’s nudity, or remarking upon her own, he grabbed Dan under the armpits and shoved him into the tub. They ran cold water on his body, until he came to life panting and shuddering.

“What did I…” he started to say, only to notice Barry’s face and blush. “Uh…oh…hi…roommate guy?”

“I’ve been called worse,” Barry observed. “Are you both okay? Do you like, have any medical conditions I need to call nine one one for, or can I go back to trying to defeat the Horde?”

“Ohhh.” Dan looked like he wanted to crawl through the floor. “Uh…I’ve got a thing. A thing I’ve never really had to deal with before with a current mate…”

“You mean the two of you are together? Like mated-together?” Holly nodded; her modesty had gotten the better of her, and she wrapped herself up in a discarded robe. “Um…Mazel Tov?”

“Thank you!” Dan said. “Uh….I guess I’ll tell you about my probs later, since Holly and I might be living together after the week ends.” That notion made the bottom of Holly’s stomach drop out, but she smiled nervously. The fog of the heat was starting to lift, and reality beckoned. He gave her a concerned look – she remembered again that he could sense her feelings, right at the edge of his own.

“Oh, that reminds me – Arin’s been calling our main line instead of Holly’s cell for reasons I don’t understand – no wait, I do understand, because he’s Arin. He understand why you’re missing rehearsals but he’s in his words ‘deepthroating bottles of Pepto’ worrying that you’re not gonna show up. The club’s owner’s going to push your date back ‘til Saturday, and since you two seem to be working things out,” he gestured, “I told him that he should check with you but you’d be there.”

“Uh…I’ll text him when I feel like a human being again,” Dan winced. “God, do you think I fucked this up?”

Barry shrugged. “Arin once forgave me for throwing up a boilermaker into his Sailor Moon fanny pack. It’ll be fine.”

“Thanks, man,” Dan grumbled, rubbing his own forehead. 

“Thank you, Barry,” she said sweetly. “I owe you so much.”

“It’s no trouble,” he insisted, and with apologies left them alone.

Dan leaned his head against the cool, pale tiles behind him. Very deliberately, he said, “um. I guess you should know right away that I’ve got some…problems. I can’t sweat for one, and that’s not usually a problem when I like, dance the dance d’amour, but if I knot someone a lot I get dehydrated really quickly. One time I passed out and lost my vision for twenty minutes. I’m knock-kneed, and I need glasses, and I have a really delicate stomach. I’ve had injections for it ‘cause my enzymes are all off.” She knelt beside him, washing his body gently with a sponge. “Okay. I said it. It’s on the table.”

“I need glasses too,” she said. “I’ve got depression and anxiety problems.”

“But it’s different for you.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m an alpha!” he shrugged, sniffled, blinked and turned his head to face her down. “Because I’m a genetic freak, and alphas are supposed to be perfect. Not…this.”

She wrapped an arm around his collarbone, crossing his wide shoulders. His wet head leaned into her shoulder, and he sighed. “I know it’s stupid. And I like me most of the time. I’m a pretty fucking radical dude. But…” He shook his head. “I look at you and it’s like I’m looking at a flower.”

“But Dan - to me, you’re perfect.”

He pulled back, looked her in the eyes, frowned. “I am?”

She nodded. “Yeah. I don’t mate with every guy I meet, y’know.”

“Never would’ve suggested it,” he said. A little smile curled up the corner of his mouth. “Wanna take a cool bath and see if Barry wants to watch a movie?”

She nodded. “If we can pull him away from the Horde.”

Dan kissed her cheek as she nudged the robe off. There was room for two of them in that icy water, and she was happy to join him in its chilly midst to wash themselves into a proper state.


	17. And The Future Ever Spinning On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Holly emerge from their first liaison to face the harshness of the real world; and the possibility that their encounter may have produced more than just good memories.

The morning sun rose hot and dusty enough to dry Holly’s nose, to make her pull away from Dan’s long, grasping arm. Without his minimal weight pinning her down, she allowed herself to lie quietly in the sunlight and contemplated the day. 

Realization after realization struck her. She felt cool and comfortable; out of heat, at last. She was starving, and she needed to pee. It was Saturday.

Today was Dan and Arin’s gig.

They would have to rush to get to the club, rush to catch up with Arin – rush to accomplish the goal that had been Dan’s heart’s desire for years. She jumped out of bed and away from him at the realization, grabbing random articles of clothing out of her chest of drawers. Her frantic motions woke Dan, and her clear panic roused him from his stupor.

“Wah?” he asked, raking back his hair.

“Please tell me you’re out completely out of heat,” she said.

Dan considered himself. “Yeah, yeah, I’m good.”

“Guess what today is.”

“Oh shit,” Dan groaned, diving out of bed. “Do you want to grab a shower?” he asked. 

She nodded. Stripping the bed would come later, when she had proper presence of mind. They split one, quick and practical instead of steamy, and then dressed in a frantic rush, grabbing his laundered costume on the way out the door. 

“I’ll buy you breakfast,” he insisted, when she stopped to grab a banana and an apple. “Something really rich, with lots of eggs in it.”

“I don’t like eggs that much!”

“You haven’t had Arin’s, then,” Dan said. He was fairly skipping as they rushed outside, heading six blocks back east and toward the nearest subway station. By the time they’d climbed aboard the six headed to the theater district, she’s handed Dan the apple and settled down, skinning back the banana and plunking it between her lips.

“He’s an amazing cook, but I never really have breakfast with Suzy. She said that Arin likes to keep the mornings pretty sacred when they’re not working.” 

He smiled. “Would you like to do that?”

Holly – who hadn’t been part of a couple in years – paused to consider his words, bashful suddenly. The weight of their choices were starting to settle on her shoulders, comfortably. “If you don’t have morning shifts.”

“The club doesn’t open til past noon,” he reminded her. “And I’m going to start looking for advertising work on Monday morning.”

She remembered that he had a degree in the field, remembered just why he didn’t use it. “I thought you hated advertising. The whole corporate shill thing, wearing a tie.” It was as unfathomable to Holly as the dull-minded temp work she had done before landing her position at the theater. 

Dan shrugged. “I told you I’ll do anything for you.”

“And I told you not to force your life to revolve around mine.”

He frowned, his long fingers gently circling her wrist. “I just…wanna be a good alpha for you,” he said.

She leaned into his shoulder. Across the aisle from them, an elderly couple smiled indulgently in their direction. Was this a reflection of the future, staring back at her? Holly leaned more firmly into Dan’s side and kissed his jaw. “You’re a good alpha, Dan.”

They huddled together until their stop popped up, then they rushed to the club, headed to the back door. Dan pulled out his ID, and the bouncer let them in with a nod.

Suzy and Arin already occupied the dressing room they’d been directed to - a different one from the one where Dan and Holly had consummated their attraction. They walked in just as Suzy had finished applying Arin’s make-up. Suzy’s eyes were bright and filled with naughty mischief when she saw them, but Arin’s eyes were downcast.

“So, do you have any totally awesome news you wanna share with us?” she grinned.

Holly rocked back and forth on her heels, slowly wrapping her arms around Dan’s middle. “Maybe,” she sang.

Suzy squeaked, hopping on her spiked heels. “I’m so happy for you.” She rushed right across the room, and then hugged them both in her fierce embrace.

“Great,” Arin echoed, his voice flat. Suzy nervously cleared her throat, crossed the room again and her hand tightening on Arin’s shoulder. 

“We’re happy for you,” she said, but Holly somehow doubted Suzy spoke for them both.

“I’m sorry, man,” Dan said. “Y’know you can’t help it. Biological shit blows.” He was already stripping out of his outfit and putting on the spangly costume Holly’d sewn him, with zero sense of shame or self-preservation.

“Yeah,” Arin said shortly, and turned toward the mirror, heavily dragging himself upward. 

“I promise I’ll keep closer track of them,” Dan said. “I have to – I don’t want to hurt Holly by…”

“Right, cool, got it,” Arin said, and he got up, taking Suzy by the hand. “I’ll see you both soon.” Suzy’s eyes were apologetic but she let him herd her away.

Holly and Dan stood quietly there in place, guilt bubbling between them. Dan shook his head. “I don’t get them. She’s so…and he’s so….” He shook his head. 

“Nothing like they said it was going to be?” asked Holly.

He nodded. “Well,” he said, sitting down, brushing his hair quickly out, then smirking at the brush, “kind of.” 

Holly flushed at the memory, glad she’d stolen the one she’d…heartily abused, to put it mildly. Dan’s smile went sideways at her reaction; he visibly regretted his crudeness, and the shame came back to her in waves. “Uh….yeah,” he checked his face in the mirror, and then Holly drifted over to him. “Hol – do you know anything about makeup?”

“Sure,” she said. She had a fondness for stage makeup and for improving her own face through cosmetics. Sitting across from her mate, she began to coat a brush with foundation, then cupped his heart shaped chin in her hand and gently brushed his cheekbones.

She knew she loved darker colors, and she also knew Dan liked glitter – so she used the little sample pots Suzy had left behind to highlight his cheekbones and the lids of his eyes. He glimmered subtly when she was done, in a way that matched his sparkly tights.

His eyes opened when she released his face, and he glanced over to see himself in the mirror. “Oh,” he said softly, his voice cracking. It was as if the sun had come out to dazzle him. Reaching through the distance, he closed his eyes again to kiss her. “Thank you.”

She smiled at him. “I just wanted you to see what I see when I look at you.”

He leaned into her abruptly, his minimal weight crushing into her, and he hid his face against her neck and inhaled the scent of her. Holly knew she must smell different than she had when they first met – altered by the claiming. His own smell was deeper, more musky, less smoky. The scent of the head of a pack.

Then Dan sat up, his big hands carefully brushing down the black lacy sleeves. “Our kids are going to be so beautiful,” he said.

Holly’s mind stuttered to a stop. “Kids?”

“Yeah, I mean..well, we might have…Just in case we…” he glanced at her belly, then locked eyes with her. “Well, we might have. But oh, Holly, when they come, they’re going to be beautiful.”

A wash of ice water spilled down Holly’s spine. Right now, she could be…they could be….Her palm pressed nervously to that spot below her navel, unable to stop her mind from shrieking in panic. 

Dan could clearly feel her anxiety. A frown of confusion marred his features, but the door was opening. “You’re on in two,” said the stage hand, and ducked out of the room.

She put on a smile. “Hey, I guess…”

“Yeah – I wouldn’t want to piss Arin off even more,” he laughed. “Please come watch me?”

“Yes,” she said. “I’ll be right there, I promise.”

Dan smiled, his nerves lighting up his dark eyes. Holly let him go before turning toward the side exit. She found a table up front with Suzy, who kept taking pictures with her cell phone of the semi-interested crowd who’d taken up space around the stage.

“The biggest crowd they’ve had yet,” she grinned. That smile died a bit when she saw Holly’s expression. “What’s wrong? It looks like you swallowed a ghost.”

Holly shook her head. She sat very quietly down beside Suzy, and tried to smile as the house lights went down.


	18. Ache For Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan’s triumphant night turns sour when Holly admits that she doesn’t want to have children.

The gig went well. Amazingly well, better than it usually did. Dan was a slithery, sensual creature with the spotlight focused on him; his come-hither looks were all for her, even as he tried to flirt with the entire audience. 

But whenever Arin glanced at her, she noted a little bit of anger. Just a hair. Suzy seemed happy and nervous as the music peaked and ebbed. The audience lapped it up. By the end of the night there was actually money in the tip jar. Both women collected the cash they’d been thrown (and the very transparent pair of panties someone had wadded up and smacked him in the face with – apparently Dan still smelled like an alpha, mated or not), then headed backstage.

Dan’s happiness bloomed off of his skin in beautiful waves, and he crushed her to his skinny chest, covering her face with kisses. “That rocked so fucking hard,” he panted. “We like, kicked their butts sideways with MUSIC!”

“You sure did,” she said, kissing his jaw. Dan’s lips turned upward; he took her hand in his and she felt his heart beat against her ear.

Arin was dressed. Shuffling his shoulders, he sighed. “I guess you did well and we’re even,” Arin said. “Guess,” he emphasized, his voice flat and soft.

Dan tucked his hair behind his ears. “I promise, man. I won’t let that happen again.”

Arin nodded. “I guess I was kind of stressed out. This was a big deal for me. I just…wanted to prove I could do it.”

“Yeah. I get it. And hey, bonus fact –we totally fucking made it.” 

Arin grinned. “We did.” He grabbed Dan’s hand and shook it firmly. Then he and Suzy were making their excuses and heading out into the evening.

“So,” Dan said brightly, stripping the costume off, folding it carefully to be washed. “What do you want to do tonight?”

“Ice cream?”

“Ice cream,” Dan agreed happily. “Maybe some chocolate, if we can find it.”

She nodded. This part was easy. In fact everything felt warm and sunny as they sat together at the edge of the Brooklyn Bridge, snacking happily. 

At least until Dan spoke up suddenly. “God, you’re beautiful.”

She smiled. “You aren’t half bad either.”

He laughed. “Me? I look like a dried up eggplant with huge teeth.”

“Oh, Dan…” 

“Seriously,” he licked his chocolate cone, “I hope the kids look like you, that’s all I’m saying.”

Her stomach felt icy, colder than the dessert itself. Dan must have felt it – he pulled the cone away from his tongue and looked at her funny. “That’s the second time you’ve reacted that way to my suggestion.”

“Dan…”

“Can you have kids?” he asked. “We can totally adopt, I’d be cool with.”

“I don’t know if I want to have kids ever,” she said. There it was, spat out, from her tongue to his ears. Flat and truthful.

Silence filled the space between them. She watched Dan’s face travel through a series of emotions – confusion, impassioned sadness. “But you’d be so good at it.”

“Why? Because I’m an omega? Because I seem nice and sweet? I’m more than a baby incubator, y’know.”

“Of course,” he said. But he looked deflated, confused.

“I think I’ve gotta go, Dan.” He growled, but she stared him right down.

“Do you want me to walk you home?” he asked softly.

“No,” she said. “I can make it on my own.”

On her own. That was something she’d never truly be again. She could feel the burn of his claiming mark on her neck all the way to the subway station, and the cold underworld below.


	19. Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holly must make a serious choice.

“He said he wanted to have a baby,” Barry said. “And you told him you don’t want one?”

Holly nodded. “He was bound to find out someday but…” she shook her head. “The look in his eyes when I said it made me feel so awful.”

“Don’t feel bad,” Barry told her. “It’s better it came out now. You know how alphas are about having babies. And how people are these days, period.”

He didn’t need to tell her about how traditional alphas were expected to have as many children as possible. She definitely didn’t need to hear about how omegas who refused to have them were looked down upon as unnatural. She rubbed her neck, and again felt the claiming mark. “What am I going to do if he can’t accept it?” 

“Then you’ll go through the unclaiming process.”

Holly cringed. The unclaiming process was painful. But, more importantly, she didn’t want him to unclaim her. She wanted to stay with him for as long as humanly possible.

He reached over and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. “Wanna go out to the movies? My treat.”

“That actually sounds amazing,” she admitted. But as she was getting her shawl, there was a knock on the door.

The man standing there was utterly unfamiliar, and he was red-faced. “Hi,” he panted, his eyes wide behind a pair of thick glasses. “I know you don’t know me,” he thrust forward his hand, “my name’s Vernon. Dan’s my roommate. Well, one of them. That’s how I know who you are and where you live – sorry, I’m babbling. He packed up all of his stuff in the middle of the night and disappeared.” 

“What?” Holly’s stomach knotted. This explained the vague sense of anxiety she’d been experiencing all day.

He held up a slip of paper. “I found this receipt he left behind on his bed. He bought a train ticket back to Boston,” he said suddenly. “It’s leaving in fifteen minutes. And it was one way.”

The weight of the moment filled Holly with fear. For all of their unsettled issues, the idea of letting Dan leave and break the bond between them was too painful to even comprehend. 

She threw her jacket on. “Get me to the train station. As fast as you can.”


	20. You

She had no idea what she was thinking, if she was even thinking – she followed the racing pulse thrumming at the back of her head, the bit of Dan that would forever be a part of her bloodstream, the part of him that would forever and always drive her forward. 

She went to their subway station. She came with shaking knees, with Vernon at her heels. At the door to the underground her left her alone, blended into the crowd. Holly shoved her way through the crowd of commuters, pushed and pressed against the strange bodies surrounding her. “Dan!” she shouted into the ether. 

Very faintly, very softly, she heard his call back. Saw a wide brown eye and a shock of curls. She shoved a man, a woman, out of the way until she was standing in front of Dan, drinking in

Her heart calmed. The bond glowed between them like a hot coal. 

“I…” he looked abashed, brushed a hand over his unruly curls. “I didn’t want you to see me like this.”

“Didn’t want me to see you walk away?” Holly asked.

Dan shuffled his feet, stared at them. “You know I can’t…just run away. Not anymore. But I can try to…” He shook his head. “I was going to surprise you and…” He reached into his backpack, shoved a hand in and handed her a balled-up bit of paper. “Here.”

She stared at it for a moment. The medical jargon took a moment to translate itself in her mind. “Dan. These are papers for a vasectomy.”

“I know,” he said.

“Alphas don’t _get_ vasectomies,” she cried out. 

“This alpha will,” he said, making her reel. It was absolutely unheard of for such a thing to happen. “I don’t care what anyone thinks, what anyone says. I want you to be happy, Holly, and if that means getting my tubes tied, I will.” She was silent. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking – it isn’t just the bond, and it isn’t just the fact that you’re my mate. I love you, Holly, and part of loving you is respecting you. And I totally fucking respect you, you’re rad, and…if you don’t want to have kids with me, we won’t have kids. And that’s all I know, and all I feel when I look at you. I’ll do just what you want.”

Holly knew what this meant. Knew that if he’d get one, he’d be ostracized. Seen as a freak. Alphas were made to breed, and any alpha who took that option away from itself was often seen as ‘less than’ somehow. He’d be looked down upon, spit upon.

And he was willing to do it, all for her.

Tears welled up in Holly’s eyes. Her answer was her kiss. The papers drifted from the fore of her mind, and from her hands. Only one thought filled her mind.

She loved him.

He had put her first.

How could she not?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who's been following along with this series!


End file.
